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{"id":932,"date":"2020-10-14T14:22:16","date_gmt":"2020-10-14T18:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/miaminetwork.org\/site-plan\/?p=932"},"modified":"2026-08-22T13:26:11","modified_gmt":"2026-08-22T17:26:11","slug":"ethical-instructions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/ethical-instructions\/","title":{"rendered":"ethical instructions"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"932\" class=\"elementor elementor-932\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9a94c20 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"9a94c20\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d87e50e elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"d87e50e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><!--  menu-top-inc.php -->\n<!-- <meta name=\"viewport\" content=\"width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0\"> -->\n<!-- <div style=\"height: 1px;\"><\/div> -->\n<div class=\"grid-container\">\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/home_page\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"home\" alt=\"home\">Home<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/active-listening-carl-rogers\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">Active&nbsp;Listening<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/chat\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Chat\" alt=\"Chat\">Chat<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/transformation\/\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">I F S \u2764\ufe0f<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n\n<!--\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/active-listening-carl-rogers\/?ed\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">Active Listening<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/info\/\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">Introduction<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n-->\n        <!--\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/how-evil-triumphs\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Lost Exiles\" alt=\"Lost Exiles\">Lost Exile<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div> -->\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/contact\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Open-Topic Zoom Meetings\">OpenTopic<button class=\"btnRed bg_hoverRed\" type=\"button\" onclick=\"redfunction()\"><\/button><\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <!--\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/ifs-spirit\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Spirit & FS\" alt=\"Spirit & IFS\">Spirit<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div> -->\n\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/zoom-link-info-page\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Zoom info\" alt=\"Zoom info\">Zoom Info<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n    <div style=\"height: 5px;\"><\/div>\n\n\n<style>\n.btn2new2 {\n\/*padding:12px; 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text-align: left; border: thin solid black; padding: 3%; line-height: 170%; background-color: #ffffff;\">\n<div style=\"line-height: 190%; font-size: 105%; border-radius: 20px; text-align: center; border: thin solid black; padding: 10px; margin: 1px;\">\n<h2><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><b>Q&amp;A: Do any kind of ethical instructions exist about applying NVC?\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><sub>source ::\u00a0<a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/nvcnextgen.org\/2018\/01\/questions-and-answers-addressed-by-cnvc-certified-trainers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">https:\/\/nvcnextgen.org\/2018\/01\/questions-and-answers-addressed-by-cnvc-certified-trainers\/<\/a><br \/><\/sub><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div style=\"line-height: 190%; font-size: 110%; border-radius: 20px; text-align: left; border: thin solid black; padding: 10px; margin: 1px;\">\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Since &#8220;NVC&#8221; (AKA: Self-Empathy) is our natural human language, so I get curious about &#8220;natural ethics&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>Five ethical principles emerge as I consider this question:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Nonviolence:\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>The \u201cethics of NVC\u201d are first and foremost\u00a0to intend no harm.\u00a0 When harm occurs accidentally, NVC can be used for repair work and healing.<\/p>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>Self-responsibility and freedom:\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>The \u201cethics of NVC\u201d <br \/>require self-responsibility.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>I feel ___________ <br \/>because I need _____________.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>NVC, for me, is designed as a strategy to support me in connecting to my own feelings and needs and taking\u00a0responsibility for them.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>NVC is NOT designed to tell other people what they should or should not do.\u00a0\u00a0<br \/><br \/>NVC offers expanded choice, it does not limit choice.<\/p>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>Interdependence:\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>The \u201cethics of NVC\u201d require me to remember that my needs do not exist in a\u00a0vacuum; rather\u00a0my needs are interdependent with yours.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>I do not want to get my needs met at your expense, nor do I want you to get your needs met at my expense.<\/p>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>The Zero Step:\u00a0<br \/><br \/>The\u00a0\u201cethics of NVC\u201d\u00a0 require me to remember\u00a0the intention of NVC\u00a0(to support a quality of connection that inspires compassionate giving and receiving) and\u00a0the attention of NVC, the present moment.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>My partner Jori and I use a nickname for this essential combination, the Zero Step.*** In other words, what comes before we \u201cuse\u201d the model or the process? \u00a0<br \/><br \/>This, for me is the whole key to NVC.\u00a0\u00a0When I remember the Zero Step, all of the rest of NVC flows naturally.<\/p>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>Safety and Protection:\u00a0<br \/><br \/>Although the intention of NVC is connection, that\u00a0connection can occur only if there is safety.\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>Thus,\u00a0assessing safety and following up with protection, if needed, must come before connection.<br \/>(i.e. the protective use of force.****) ~Marshall Rosenberg\u00a0<br \/>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>Marshall Rosenberg stated that safety must come before connection in Nonviolent Communication (NVC).\u00a0 <br \/><br \/>True connection cannot happen if people do not feel safe. <br \/><br \/>Force may be used to protect life or rights, but never to punish.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Why Safety Matters<\/p>\n<p>Basic Need: <br \/><br \/>People cannot open up or hear others when they feel attacked or scared.<\/p>\n<p>First Step: <br \/><br \/>You must check the environment for physical or emotional danger first.<\/p>\n<p>Clear Focus: <br \/><br \/>Protection stops harm. Connection comes after everyone is safe.<\/p>\n<p>The Protective Use of Force<\/p>\n<p>Goal: Use force only to stop danger, save a life, or prevent injury.<\/p>\n<p>No Blame: <br \/><br \/>Do not use force to judge, shame, or make someone feel guilty.<\/p>\n<p><br \/>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 44px;\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Arial Black', Gadget, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 600; letter-spacing: 0.2px;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<div style=\"line-height: 140%; color: silver; background-color: black; font-size: 110%; text-align: center; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 0%;\">\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">&#8230;<span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">::&#8221;The highest form of human intelligence&#8230; is to observe, without judgment. ~Jiddu Krishnamurti \u2661<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">NVC :: OFNR ::<strong> OBSERVATION\u2661<\/strong>, Feelings, Needs and Requests \u2661<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div>\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">OBSERVATION\u2661 without evaluation consists of noticing concrete (real) things and actions around us. We learn to distinguish between judgment and what we sense in the PRESENT moment, and to simply OBSERVE what is there (right now).\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.\u201d <\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #000000;\">~Krishnamurti<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 44px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div style=\"line-height: 140%; color: silver; background-color: black; font-size: 100%; text-align: center; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 0%;\">\n<div style=\"height: 24px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">&#8230;::&#8221; Violence is not merely killing another&#8230; It is violence when we use a sharp WORD&#8230; when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is fear&#8230; So violence isn&#8217;t merely organized butchery in the name of God&#8230; in the name of society or country&#8230; Violence is much more subtle&#8230; much deeper&#8230; and we are inquiring into the very depths of violence.&#8221; ~Krishnamurti \u2661<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 24px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"height: 3px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">&#8212;<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: 190%; font-size: 110%; border-radius: 20px; text-align: left; border: thin solid black; padding: 10px; margin: 1px;\">\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Marshall Rosenberg understood that INSTEAD OF &#8220;lashing out&#8221; or &#8220;withdrawing&#8221;, the willful use of our own internal <strong>empathic nature<\/strong> will give us a <strong>third option<\/strong>: Both an INTER and INTRA-personal connection of the kind most likely to lead to satisfying relationships and mutually agreeable strategies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 24px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">REF: <a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nonviolentcommunication.com\/learn-nonviolent-communication\/nvc-empathy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">NonViolentCommunication.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-16 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-811bb70\" data-id=\"811bb70\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q&amp;A: Do any kind of ethical instructions exist about applying NVC?\u00a0 source ::\u00a0https:\/\/nvcnextgen.org\/2018\/01\/questions-and-answers-addressed-by-cnvc-certified-trainers\/ \u00a0 Since &#8220;NVC&#8221; (AKA: Self-Empathy) is our natural human language, so I get curious about &#8220;natural ethics&#8221; \u00a0 Five ethical principles emerge as I consider this question: Nonviolence:\u00a0 The \u201cethics of NVC\u201d are first and foremost\u00a0to intend no harm.\u00a0 When harm occurs [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2512,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ocean_front_end_style_editor":"no","ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","omw_enable_modal_window":"enable","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,10,6,40,3,8,29],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-earthcare","category-lifestyle","category-nvc","category-restorative","category-services","category-spirit","category-wagingnonviolence","tag-nvc","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=932"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/932\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":56082,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/932\/revisions\/56082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empa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