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background-color:cyan;
box-shadow: 2px 2px 1px darkblue;
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<style>
.btnGreen {
// padding:1px;
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 justify-content: center;
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border:1px solid #fff;
}
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<style>
.bg_hoverGreen:hover {
color: black;
background-color:cyan;
box-shadow: 2px 2px 1px darkblue;
// padding:5px;
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}
</style>

<style>
.btnRed {
//  padding:1px;
  font-size: 13px;
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 justify-content: center;
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border:1px solid #fff;
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<style>
.bg_hoverRed:hover {
background-color:cyan;
box-shadow: 2px 2px 1px darkblue;
// padding:5px;
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{"id":7702,"date":"2022-03-10T14:06:40","date_gmt":"2022-03-10T19:06:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/miaminetwork.org\/site-plan\/?p=7413"},"modified":"2026-01-01T17:07:10","modified_gmt":"2026-01-01T22:07:10","slug":"bessel-van-der-kolk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/bessel-van-der-kolk\/","title":{"rendered":"Bessel van der Kolk"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"7702\" class=\"elementor elementor-7702\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6bb25db e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"6bb25db\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6c6ef42 elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"6c6ef42\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><!--  menu-top-inc.php -->\n<!-- <meta name=\"viewport\" content=\"width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0\"> -->\n<!-- <div style=\"height: 1px;\"><\/div> -->\n<div class=\"grid-container\">\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/home_page\/\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"home\" alt=\"home\">Home<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/contact\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Contact info\" alt=\"Contact\">Contact<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <!--\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/carl-rogers#NYC-PTSD\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">GuideLines<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div> -->\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/transformation\/\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">I F S \u2764\ufe0f<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/info\/\" target=\"_self\">\n            <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\">Introduction<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <!--\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/how-evil-triumphs\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Lost Exiles\" alt=\"Lost Exiles\">Lost Exile<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div> -->\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/contact\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Open-Topic Zoom Meetings\">OpenTopic<button class=\"btnRed bg_hoverRed\" type=\"button\" onclick=\"redfunction()\"><\/button><\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <!--\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/ifs-spirit\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Spirit & FS\" alt=\"Spirit & IFS\">Spirit<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div> -->\n\n\n        <div class=\"grid-item\">\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/zoom-link-info-page\/\" target=\"_self\">\n        <div class=\"btn2new2 bg_hover2\" title=\"Zoom info\" alt=\"Zoom info\">Zoom Info<\/div>\n        <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n    <div style=\"height: 5px;\"><\/div>\n\n\n<style>\n.btn2new2 {\n\/*padding:12px; *\/\n\/* font-size: 13px;*\/\n\/* padding:11px; *\/\npadding:11px;\n\/*margin-bottom: 5px;*\/\nmargin-bottom: 5px;\nfont-size: 12px;\n\/* width: 195px;*\/\n\/*  width: 119px; *\/\n  width: 111px;\n\/*  height: 58px; *\/\n  height: 57px;\n  font-weight: bold;\n  color: white;\n  text-align:center;\n justify-content: center;\n display: center;\n  cursor:pointer;\n  border-radius: 11px;\n  background-color: darkblue;\n  box-shadow: 2px 2px 6px gray;\nborder:1px solid #fff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<style>\n.bg_hover2:hover, .bg_hover2:active {\nbackground-color:blue;\n\/*box-shadow: 2px 2px 2px silver;*\/\n\/* padding:10px; *\/\n\/*  font-size: 12.8px;*\/\n}\n<\/style>\n\n\n\n<style>\n.grid-container {\n\/*    display: grid;*\/\n    display: grid;\n    \/*gap: 40px;*\/\n    gap: 4px;*\/\/* Space between ROWS columns *\/\n \/*   padding: 20px;*\/\n}\n\n.grid-item {\n \/*    background-color: #f0f0f0; *\/\n \/*   padding: 20px;*\/\n    text-align: center;\n\/*    border: 1px solid #ccc; *\/\n}\n\n\n\/* Desktop layout (5 columns) *\/\n\/*@media screen and (min-width: 992px) {*\/\n@media screen and (min-width: 992px) {\n    .grid-container {\n        grid-template-columns: repeat(6, 1fr); \/* SIX Four equal columns *\/\n    }\n.wide { \n\/*display: none; *\/\ngap: 25px;  \/* Space between ROWS columns *\/\n}\n}\n\n\n\/* Mobile layout (1 column) *\/\n\/* @media screen and (max-width: 599px) { *\/\n@media screen and (max-width: 991px) {\n    .grid-container {\n\/*        grid-template-columns: 2fr; *\/\/* TWO Single column *\/\n        grid-template-columns: repeat(3, 1fr); \/* TWO Single column *\/\n    }\n.wide { \n\/*display: center; *\/\ngap: 3px; \/* Space between ROWS columns *\/\n}\n}\n<\/style><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d19cb9e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d19cb9e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-93d44d9\" data-id=\"93d44d9\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cef45ff elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"cef45ff\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"243\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Bessel_van_der_Kolk-243x300.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-7703\" alt=\"Bessel van der Kolk\" srcset=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Bessel_van_der_Kolk-243x300.jpg 243w, https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Bessel_van_der_Kolk-829x1024.jpg 829w, https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Bessel_van_der_Kolk-768x949.jpg 768w, https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Bessel_van_der_Kolk.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 243px) 100vw, 243px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e1b756f e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"e1b756f\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e6d8c0d e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"e6d8c0d\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bbe337b e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"bbe337b\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2692d69 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2692d69\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div style=\"line-height: 170%; font-size: 110%; text-align: left; margin-left: 11%; margin-right: 1%; color: #000;\">\n<p>..::&#8221;Trauma is when your reality is neither seen nor acknowledged&#8221; &#8211; Bessel van der Kolk<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>..::&#8221;Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence. ~Peter A. Levine<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>..::&#8221;I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. ~C.G. Jung<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>..::&#8221;Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods. ~Peter A. Levine<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>&#8230;::&#8221;Blaming is a universal human trait that helps people feel good while feeling bad, or as my old teacher Elvin Semrad used to say: &#8220;Hate makes the world go round.&#8221; ~Bessel A. van der Kolk<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>Whatever upsets us can morph into something we become attracted to, cling to, and can even become an addiction.<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>One way that many people often deal with their trauma, is to select someone to be their \u201cenemy\u201d, and then project their unconscious anger onto that other person. All of this is an unconscious diversion from the real challenge of the deeper inner work that is needed, which could result in peaceful and functional relationships with significant others. The question is, can we create safe havens for ourselves to practice peaceful communication with others, or choose to remain addicted to the habitual adrenaline rush of the amygdala hijack during self-generated competition and rage projected onto significant others.<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>&#8230;::&#8221;Victims are members of society whose problems represent the memory of suffering, rage, and pain in a world that longs to forget.&#8221; ~Bessel A. van der Kolk<\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/bessel-van-der-kolk\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/empathymatters.org\/now\/bessel-van-der-kolk\/<\/a><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p>Bessel van der Kolk: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=L1QOamjIhv4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">youtube.com\/watch?v=L1QOamjIhv4<\/a><\/p>\n<div style=\"height: 34px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c0acc3 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"2c0acc3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e52926a e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"e52926a\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71288f2 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"71288f2\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-28b9062 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"28b9062\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7d4d320 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7d4d320\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=lrOBHyDRS-c&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2e28ced e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"2e28ced\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cb02d2b e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"cb02d2b\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5b91b9c e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"5b91b9c\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-841059e e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"841059e\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8fbb067 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"8fbb067\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=L1QOamjIhv4&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0adadcd e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"0adadcd\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-80695f0 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"80695f0\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-16 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-82cc5a3\" data-id=\"82cc5a3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-443a568\" data-id=\"443a568\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bed499f elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-social-share\" data-id=\"bed499f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-social-share.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\t\t<ul class=\"ekit_socialshare\">\n                            <li class=\"elementor-repeater-item-aeabd7a\" data-social=\"facebook\">\n                    <div class=\"facebook\">\n                        \n                        <i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"icon icon-facebook\"><\/i>                        \n                                                                                            <\/div>\n  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class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-16 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-ec71dc5\" data-id=\"ec71dc5\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ae4b2e8 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ae4b2e8\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e8980b1 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"e8980b1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a244ee3 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"a244ee3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b11c209 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"b11c209\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=jMywRAVMvM8&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b67cef4 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"b67cef4\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-18d91ad elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"18d91ad\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-16 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-35e3913\" data-id=\"35e3913\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7b7191f\" data-id=\"7b7191f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-24c82af elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"24c82af\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"padding-top: 0px;\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<p> \n<a title=\"Charles Darwin quote\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azquotes.com\/quote\/72309\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/\/www.azquotes.com\/picture-quotes\/quote-in-the-long-history-of-humankind-and-animal-kind-too-those-who-learned-to-collaborate-charles-darwin-7-23-09.jpg\" alt=\"In the long history of humankind (and animal kind, too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed. - Charles Darwin\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">..::&#8221;Survival of the Fittest Has Evolved:<br \/>\nTry Survival of the Kindest<\/h2>\n<p><br \/>\nWe\u2019ve often heard that if you want to succeed in life, you need to subscribe to the idea of \u201csurvival of the fittest.\u201d Success, we are commonly told, has to be grabbed; it has to be taken or someone else will get it.<\/p>\n<p>Most of Charles Darwin\u2019s work, especially \u201cThe Descent of Man,\u201d does not support the idea of what most call Darwinism. Darwin\u2019s research shows that \u201csurvival of the kindest\u201d is more correct for explaining which species climb the evolutionary ladder efficiently and effectively.<\/p>\n<p>According to biologists from Darwin to E. O. Wilson, cooperation has been more important than competition in humanity\u2019s evolutionary success.<\/p>\n<p>Compassion is the reason for both the human race\u2019s survival and its ability to continue to thrive as a species.<\/p>\n<p>Charles Darwin not only did not coin the phrase \u201csurvival of the fittest\u201d (the phrase was invented by Herbert Spencer), but he argued against it.<\/p>\n<p>In \u201cOn the Origin of Species,\u201d he wrote: \u201cit hardly seems probable that the number of men gifted with such virtues [as bravery and sympathy] &#8230; could be increased through natural selection, that is, by the survival of the fittest.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Darwin was very clear about the weakness of the survival-of-the-fittest argument and the strength of his \u201csympathy hypothesis\u201d when he wrote: \u201cThose communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.\u201d What Darwin called \u201csympathy,\u201d in the words of Paul Ekman, \u201ctoday would be termed empathy, altruism, or compassion.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Darwin goes so far in his compassion argument as to tie the success of human evolution (and even \u201clower animals\u201d) to the evolution of compassion. He writes that as the human race evolved from \u201csmall tribes\u201d into large civilizations, concern about the well-being of others extended to include not just strangers but \u201call sentient beings.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He even calls compassion \u201cthe almost ever-present instinct\u201d when a fellow human witnesses the suffering of another. In other words, Darwin believed that compassion was a natural instinct that we all share.<\/p>\n<p>The bumper-sticker way of teaching and labeling Darwin\u2019s ideas as exclusively focused on the \u201csurvival of the fittest\u201d is not only misleading; it completely misses his idea that humanity\u2019s success hinges on its level of compassion or sympathy.<\/p>\n<p>Since Darwin\u2019s fieldwork and writings, researchers from various fields have supported his perspective.<\/p>\n<p>Biologist and theorist Edward Wilson, who is known for his studies of ants and bees that have yielded insights into human existence, has shown that our evolution from tribal into a global society increasingly favors compassionate and cooperative over callous and competitive approaches to human interaction.<\/p>\n<p>Wilson calls our \u201cselfish activity\u201d in interpersonal relations \u201cthe Paleolithic curse\u201d that \u201champers\u201d success at all levels where groups of humans interact.<\/p>\n<p>Although selfishness may have been an advantage during the Paleolithic Era (stone age), when Homo sapiens lived more independently of each other,<\/p>\n<p>Wilson contends that it is \u201cinnately dysfunctional\u201d in our highly interconnected societies and world.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/better\/relationships\/survival-fittest-has-evolved-try-survival-kindest-n730196\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/better\/relationships\/survival-fittest-has-evolved-try-survival-kindest-n730196<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-16 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-09284e8\" data-id=\"09284e8\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t<div 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It does not, however, have to be a life sentence. ~Peter A. Levine \u00a0 ..::&#8221;I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. ~C.G. Jung \u00a0 ..::&#8221;Trauma 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