How To Take Part in an Empathy Circle
In a Circle of 4 to 9 Participants
1. The facilitator volunteers to be the first listener, asking for anyone to be the first speaker. After the speaker’s time is up, the listener becomes the next speaker and selects who they will speak to.
2. They speak about whatever comes up for them for a set time… (typically three to five minutes )
3. The listener reflects back the essence of what they are hearing until the speaker feels heard and understood to their satisfaction.
4. Then it is the listener’s turn to select who they will speak to and for the new listener to reflect back the essence of what they are hearing.
5. Everyone helps hold the circle process by monitoring & sticking to the steps.
The dialog continues around the circle for the time allotted.
Full group debrief.
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How-To: PDF: Revised date 5 Oct 2024
How-To: PDF: How To Basic Empathy Circle – 2.0_b
How-To: Original: PDF: http://bit.ly/EmpathyCirclePDFv2
Speaker Tips
* Pause often to give the listener a chance to reflect what they heard. You may repeat anything that is left out, or not accurately reflected, if it is essential to your message being understood as you see it. (but the listener need not agree, nor disagree, nor offer advice, nor offer directions) If the speaker senses they were not heard, they simply repeat themselves. The facilitator will assist the listener with the verbal reflection, if speaker states they were not heard after three attempts.
* When you have expressed yourself fully, and if you feel heard, you can say “I’m fully heard” to indicate that you are done with your turn. Then your listener becomes the new speaker.
Active Listener/Reflector
* In your own words reflect back the essence of what you hear the speaker saying.
* Refrain from asking questions, judging, analyzing, detaching, diagnosing, advising or sympathizing. When it’s your turn to speak, you can say anything you want.
* You may ask the speaker to pause periodically so you can reflect what you heard.
Silent Listeners
* Listen and be present to the exchange between the speaker and active listener/reflector. You will soon have a turn to actively listen and speak.
The group may choose to have a discussion topic or question to address in the circle.
Conflict Resolution with Reflective Listening
Dr. Thomas Gordon on the
No Lose Method
(conflict resolution)
Parenting Effectiveness Training (PET)
– with Steve Emmons
Helpful Empathy Circle Info by Edwin Rutsch :
Time Zones
“Carl Jung speaks to the necessity of withdrawing our projections from a historical or external (“chosen one”) figure (Jesus, in this case) if we are to discover experientially the “Christ within,” or the Self. Carl Jung writes, “The Self (or Christ) is present in everybody a priori, but as a rule in an unconscious condition to begin with. But it is a definite experience of later life, when this fact becomes conscious within (Sef-Empathy). It is only real when it happens, and it can happen only when you withdraw your projections from an ( extrensic ) outward historical or metaphysical Christ and thus wake up Christ within.” (CW:18:par.1638) If Christ remains outside us, either as an example of an ideal or as an external object of worship only, the deeper levels of the soul are never engaged. The result is that religion and religious practice may deteriorate into adherence to rational dogma and trying to follow a set of external rules.
Question to AI: What are “The laws of Chaos” about in ACIM?
AI: You are right to point out that while A Course in Miracles does not specifically talk about concrete “laws of chaos” in the way we might traditionally think of them, it does describe a system of principles (belief systems) that tend to promote and govern the experience of illusions.
Here’s how you could think about it:
The Illusion of Separation:
This is the foundational illusion, the bedrock upon which all other illusions are built. It’s the belief that we are separate individuals, distinct from each other and from God. This separation leads to fear, guilt, and a constant struggle for survival and validation.
ACIM emphasizes that we are all part of a unified, loving God. However, we experience a “sense of separation” due to our belief in a separate self. This “separation creates the illusion” of chaos, pain, and conflict.
The Ego’s Role: The ego, the part of us that identifies with the separate self, uses fear, judgment, and guilt to maintain the illusion of separation. This can lead to chaotic experiences in our lives.
The Process of Healing:
The process of healing involves letting go of the ego’s false beliefs and returning to the awareness of our true, loving nature. This process can feel chaotic at times, as we release old patterns and embrace new ways of being.
The Power of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is central to healing and transcending chaos. By forgiving ourselves and others, we release the anger, resentment, and fear that perpetuate the illusion of separation.
While it may seem like chaos and uncertainty are constant, ACIM offers a different perspective. It suggests that these experiences are opportunities for spiritual growth and a chance to choose love over fear.
The Laws of Perception:
The ego, which thrives on separation, operates through a system of distorted perceptions. It interprets everything through the lens of fear and judgment, creating a world of scarcity, competition, and conflict. This distorted perception is what makes the world seem chaotic and unpredictable.
The Law of Attraction:
This isn’t the “law of attraction” as you might find in New Age teachings. In ACIM, it operates on a more subtle level. The ego attracts experiences that reinforce its belief in separation. So, if you believe you’re unworthy, you’ll attract experiences that confirm that belief.
The Law of Projection:
We project our own fears and insecurities onto others, and this creates a mirror image of our own inner chaos. This is why we often see in others what we don’t want to see in ourselves.
The Law of Karma:
While ACIM doesn’t directly use the term karma, it speaks of a cyclical nature to our experiences. We create our own suffering through our choices and beliefs, which then lead to more suffering. This creates a cycle that can feel like inescapable chaos.
The “laws of chaos” (illusions of projection)
In ACIM, then, are not laws in the sense of fixed rules, but rather principles (mistaken beliefs) that describe the way our minds create and maintain the illusion of a chaotic world.
Here’s a way to think about it:
Imagine a projector showing a distorted image on a screen. The projector represents the ego, and the distorted image represents the chaotic world we experience. The “laws of chaos” are the principles that govern how the projector works, creating the illusion of a chaotic reality.
The good news is that we can choose to shift our perception and break free from these illusory “laws.” By learning to forgive ourselves and others, by letting go of the ego’s grip, and by choosing love over fear, we can experience the true nature of reality, which is one of peace, harmony, and unity.
Do you want to explore any of these “laws” in more detail? For example, we could look at how the law of projection leads to conflict and how forgiveness can break that cycle.
..::” Many years ago, someone I consider a good friend tried to corner me on this issue. Referring to the far-right in Israel I had used the term “Nazi”. He violently disagreed with the use of the term, even though he conceded that these particular people were genocidal – they were calling for the extermination of Palestinians. “The term “Nazi” should be a synonym for “Jew killer”” was what his argument boiled down to (in fact I think that’s a direct quote from that discussion). –
The problem here is one of history as well as theory. From a historical perspective it’s not clear to me that the killing of as many as 7 million people (mostly, but not exclusively, of the Jewish faith) is more worthy of recognition than the killing of 10 million people in the Congo or the killing of 100 million people in India. The common thread is that all of these atrocities were committed by Europeans – Germans, Belgians and British Europeans to be precise. The Holocaust is one of many terrible atrocities that one could cite by way of analogy when faced with a current example of a militarised population murdering civilians. –
Out of all of these examples, only the Holocaust has been universally recognised in our culture as an act of unspeakable evil. If I write a science fiction book about a guy who comes to power and starts killing people, I don’t compare my character to King Leopold or Winston Churchill (though those would be perfectly reasonable analogies). If I want to explain to someone in an instant that my character is a very bad person, I compare him to Hitler. –
If you ask anyone – even someone as thick as Konstantin Kisin seems to be in this interview – what was bad about the Nazis, they’ll have the right answer. The Nazi engaged in the systemic oppression and murder of entire categories of people (Jews, Socialists, Romani, queer people, etc). They not only committed those atrocities, they declared their intent to “rid Europe of its Jews” to paraphrase some of the language of the “Final Solution”. So when we have similar language from Israeli officials – “We will eliminate everything”, “Erase them, their families, mothers and children. These animals can no longer live.” – not to mention the killing of tens of thousands of women and children, is it not time to make the obvious analogy without fear? –
Ultimately those who argue for the sacrosanct status of the Holocaust are guilty of creating the circumstances by which the Holocaust can be repeated. Is the lesson from the Holocaust a particular lesson or a universal one? Does it only apply to European Jews who were living in Europe in the 1930s and 40s? If so, then there is no lesson of the Holocaust. The exact circumstances of 1930s Europe will never be repeated; therefore there’s nothing to learn from the holocaust if you believe that all of those circumstances must be in place in order to justify an analogy. –
The only way in which there is anything to learn from the Holocaust is if we take it as a universal principle – no group should be targeted and killed just because they are members of that group. The universality of the Holocaust underlies the entire human rights framework (which was largely written in response to the Holocaust). The group in question doesn’t matter – those who have devoted their lives to human rights often cite atrocities committed against Armenians and people from East Timor as some of the worst atrocities ever. Both of those groups happen to be Christians who were persecuted by Muslims. So the cries of antisemitism make no sense either – those who are fighting against genocide fight against all of them, especially those that their own government is complicit in. –
..::” If we do not universalise the lessons from the Holocaust, if we accept that there’s something that’s sacrosanct about it, what is that thing that is sacrosanct? It’s not the number of people killed – those numbers have been exceeded in Africa and in Asia. Is it the religion of those who were murdered? Given the long history of antisemitism in Europe that seems unlikely. So what is it that gives the Holocaust this unique status? –
I don’t have an answer to this question, but I do have a guess. I fear that what makes the Holocaust against European Jews sacrosanct is the fact that they were European. African and Asian genocides don’t have the right sort of victims. Black people dying we can live with, but white people dying? Never Again (repeated over and over, and repeated by the exact same people who are simultaneously justifying the murder of thousands of Palestinian children). –
The preoccupation with one particular genocide above all others may or may not be due to racism. But it is a preoccupation that does exist. We make (mediocre) movies about escaping the Nazis, we write (and read) novels about the Nazis, and so on. It’s the one example of genocide that firmly ensconced in the public imagination. Those of us who are actually in favour of universal human rights have an obligation to use this example – the only example that the public really gets – as part of our effort to end the current genocide. –
Bassem Youssef was essentially asked what he would do if he was put in the situation of being in charge of an ongoing genocidal occupation. His answer is absolutely the right one – he would end that occupation and the genocide. But in order to get this point through the thick heads of those who seem intent on insisting that this war is like any other, we should not shy away from historical analogies, including the analogy to World War 2 when appropriate. ***
Sameer Dossani is co-director of Peace Vigil, an organisation dedicated to Peace Education. They are online at: PeaceVigil.net
..::” What is the meaning of the ACIM quote: “Every accusation is a confession”
AI Answer:
The phrase “every accusation is a confession” is a powerful statement from A Course in Miracles (ACIM). It speaks to the underlying dynamics of projection, judgment, and the nature of our true Self. Here’s a breakdown of its meaning within the framework of ACIM.
Key Concepts:
The Illusion of Separation: ACIM teaches that the perceived separation between the Self and the world, including other people, is an illusion. We are all part of a unified field of consciousness, and any perceived differences are merely projections of our own minds.
Projection:
When we judge or accuse others, we are actually projecting our own unacknowledged thoughts, feelings, and beliefs onto them. We see in others what we are unwilling to see in ourselves.
The Ego’s Defense Mechanism:
The ego, ACIM’s term for the part of our mind that operates from fear and separation, uses projection as a defense mechanism to protect itself from facing its own darkness. By blaming others, we avoid taking responsibility for our own shortcomings.
How “Every Accusation is a Confession”Applies:
Self-Knowledge:
When we accuse someone, we are unwittingly revealing a hidden aspect of ourselves. The accusation is a confession of our own internal state.
Example:
If we accuse someone of being selfish, we might be unconsciously projecting our own sense of selfishness onto them. Deep down, we may be afraid of being seen as selfish ourselves, so we project it onto others.
Shifting Perspective:
Recognizing this principle can be a powerful catalyst for self-awareness. Instead of focusing on the perceived faults of others, we can use accusations as an opportunity to look inward and examine our own beliefs and motivations.
The Path to Healing:
ACIM encourages us to move beyond the ego’s defenses and embrace the truth of our unity with all beings. By recognizing the projections we make, we can begin to heal our own wounds and release the judgments that keep us trapped in the illusion of separation.
In essence, “every accusation is a confession” is a call to self-reflection and self-awareness. It reminds us that the path to true peace and understanding lies in confronting our own darkness and extending forgiveness to ourselves and others.
