How To Take Part in an Empathy Circle
In a Circle of 4 to 10 Participants
1. The facilitator volunteers to be the first listener, asking for anyone to be the first speaker. After the speaker’s time is up, the listener becomes the next speaker and selects who they will speak to.
2. They speak about whatever comes up for them for a set time… (typically three to five minutes )
3. The listener reflects back the essence of what they are hearing until the speaker feels heard and understood to their satisfaction.
4. Then it is the listener’s turn to select who they will speak to and for the new listener to reflect back the essence of what they are hearing.
5. Everyone helps hold the circle process by monitoring & sticking to the steps.
The dialog continues around the circle for the time allotted.
Full group debrief.
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How-To: Revised: PDF: How To Basic Empathy Circle – 2.0_b
How-To: Original: PDF: http://bit.ly/EmpathyCirclePDFv2
Speaker Tips
* Pause often to give the listener a chance to reflect what they heard. You may repeat anything that is left out, or not accurately reflected, if it is essential to your message being understood as you see it. (but the listener need not agree, nor disagree, nor offer advice, nor offer directions) If the speaker senses they were not heard, they simply repeat themselves. The facilitator will assist the listener with the verbal reflection, if speaker states they were not heard after three attempts.
* When you have expressed yourself fully, and if you feel heard, you can say “I’m fully heard” to indicate that you are done with your turn. Then your listener becomes the new speaker.
Active Listener/Reflector
* In your own words reflect back the essence of what you hear the speaker saying.
* Refrain from asking questions, judging, analyzing, detaching, diagnosing, advising or sympathizing. When it’s your turn to speak, you can say anything you want.
* You may ask the speaker to pause periodically so you can reflect what you heard.
Silent Listeners
* Listen and be present to the exchange between the speaker and active listener/reflector. You will soon have a turn to actively listen and speak.
The group may choose to have a discussion topic or question to address in the circle.
Conflict Resolution with Reflective Listening
Dr. Thomas Gordon on the
No Lose Method
(conflict resolution)
Parenting Effectiveness Training (PET)
– with Steve Emmons
Helpful Empathy Circle Info by Edwin Rutsch :
Time Zones
