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IFS Self Check-In

IFS Meditations

Calmness, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion,
Creativity, Courage, Confidence, Connectedness
Larry Lawhorn · IFS: Exploring Empathy and Global Issues

IFS :: Exploring Empathy and Global Issues

via AI "audio"  description of this web page, and the actual Human condition we are all living through, on Planet Earth Today.

The Only Known Planet in the infinite universe with Life as we know it.
"The highest Spiritual Teaching is letting go.
~Michael Singer
1) Take five minutes to explore and write down 2 or 3 mistaken beliefs that you hold.
2) Five minutes to reflect silently on these beliefs objectively, without judgment, and write down whatever comes up (e.g. thoughts, feelings, insights).
3) Five minutes per participant to share with the group, if you would like to, and optionally receive a shared reflection, or shared experience. (Without offering commiseration, fixing, dominating, advising, or therapizing ohers).
Note: True Self energy, especially in emotionally charged situations, involves Listening without needing to commiserate, fix, advise, dominate, nor "therapize" others.
🌞 In summary: Navigating emotionally charged situations effectively involves:
â—‹ Emotional self-awareness: Understanding your own emotional triggers and reactions.
â—‹ Managing your own emotions: Learning to regulate emotional responses, perhaps through deep breathing or self-reflection.
â—‹ Empathy and compassion: Putting yourself in the other person's shoes and showing genuine care.
â—‹ Present Moment Awareness: Being fully present and gently engaged in a conversation.
â—‹ Valuing others: Respecting their feelings and perspectives.
â—‹ Letting go of the "need to fix others": Recognizing that the role is to listen objectively, not to solve the other person's problems.
â—‹ Give someone a fish, and they can eat today, teach them to fish sustainably, and we will all have enough to share.

1) Start with a Self Check-in, to see if you are in Self. (See Grounding below)

2) Explore any mistaken beliefs, or places in the body that might manifest as anxiety, body pain, grievances, complaints, etc.

3) Relax into in the highest form of human intelligence, (observation without judgment). (aka: Self)

4) Become aware of any protectors, acknowledge their trustworthy dedicated working role of protecting your exiles,  and make a mutually beneficial agreement with them for your Self to be present in the same space, without force, and for your parts not to overwhelm the Self. (AKA: un-blending)
5) Self check-in, notice how you feel towards a protector and it's exile... if calm, compassion is present, then proceed... if not in calm compassion, then take a break for Self Care and grounding.

6) Get to know the parts within a safe space of peace, compassion, calmness and curiosity.

7) Create a friendly agreement with parts for a mutually beneficial  relationship.

8) Ask the protector or exile their age.  This can help to clarify their current perspective and the events that led to their current role.

9) Pause ... and wait patiently... for any messages from the parts or from the Self, and for the surfacing of any mistaken beliefs. (Journal)
(e.g., Choosing to identity as a "part", instead of the true Self...
or... IF i am vulnerable, hurt, in pain and helpless, what does this mean about me?)

10) Offer an optional ritual for releasing the old burden, for completion and celebration of a mutual relationship. (In IFS: a ritual can be a symbolic, internal process to help "exiles" (parts carrying pain) to release burdens and mistaken beliefs, fostering new healing and integration

Note: Please  see styles of attachment in relationships


Summary via Gemini AI: 
  1. Check for Grounding: (Or: "Check your grounded state.")
  2. Identify Anxiety/Pain Triggers: (Or: "Explore physical and mental sources of distress.")
  3. Observe Without Judgment: (Or: "Maintain neutral awareness.")
  4. Negotiate with Protectors: (Or: "Establish internal harmony.")
  5. Establish Compassion Before Proceeding: (Or: "Check for calm before engaging.")
  6. Connect with the Exile: (Or: "Explore the inner pain.")
  7. Build Internal Trust: (Or: "Establish lasting internal relationships.")
  8. Ask the Part's Age: (Or: "Determine the part's perspective.")
  9. Listen for Internal Messages: (Or: "Await insights and beliefs.")
  10. Offer a Release Ritual: (Or: "Symbolically integrate and heal.")
update via Chat GPT AI:
1) Grounding & Self-Check-In
Take a moment to center yourself and ensure you are in Self-energy.
2) Explore Inner Experiences
Notice any mistaken beliefs or physical sensations
(e.g., anxiety, body tension, grievances).
3) Practice Pure Observation
Stay in the highest form of human intelligence: observing without judgment.
4) Engage with Protectors
Acknowledge any protective parts and make an agreement for Self to remain present without being overwhelmed.
5) Check Your Relationship with Parts
Check how you feel towards protectors and their exiles.  If calm compassion is present, continue. If not, pause for Self-care.
6) Connect with the Exile
Approach the exile with compassion, calmness, and curiosity in a safe internal space.
7) Build a Trustworthy Relationship
Create an agreement with both protectors and exiles for an ongoing, sustainable relationship.
8) Understand the Part’s Perspective
Ask the protector or exile its age — this can reveal insights into its role and origin.
9) Pause & Listen
Wait patiently for any messages from parts to Self and for any mistaken beliefs to surface. (e.g., Identifying with a part instead of relaxing in Self-energy (observation).
10) Ritual for Release & Integration (Optional)
Consider an optional symbolic ritual to celebrate the protectors and exiles release of burdens followed by integrate into internal family healing.
In IFS, rituals can facilitate transformation and solidify a new, sustainable relationship.
Note: Consider how attachment styles influence relationships throughout this process.

 

 

Shadow work is about becoming more aware of the unconscious aspects of ourselves—the parts that we may have repressed, denied, or overlooked. The goal is to embrace these aspects with compassion and understanding.

Here’s a simple exercise:

Shadow Work Exercise: "The Mirror"

Step 1: Set the Scene (2-3 minutes)

Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably and won’t be disturbed. You may want to have a journal and a pen handy for reflection. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes for a moment, and set the intention to connect with the deeper parts of yourself during this time.

Step 2: Reflect on a Trigger (5 minutes)

Think about a recent situation that triggered a strong emotional reaction—anger, frustration, jealousy, sadness, etc. It can be anything from a conversation, an event, or even something you saw on social media.

Ask yourself: What about this situation made me react so strongly?

Write down your feelings and thoughts around the event. Try to dig into the emotions you felt and how you reacted.

Step 3: Find the Shadow (5 minutes)

This is where the deeper reflection happens. Ask yourself the following questions:

What does this trigger say about me? For example, if you felt anger, was there a part of you that felt dismissed, powerless, or unheard in a similar situation?

What part of myself does this trigger bring up? Is there a hidden aspect of yourself—perhaps something you’ve been avoiding or suppressing—that resonates with this emotion?

Write down anything that comes to mind. There’s no need to censor yourself—just be honest with what arises.

Step 4: Embrace with Compassion (2-3 minutes)
Now, pause and reflect on the parts of yourself that came up during the exercise. Instead of judging yourself, try to meet those parts with compassion and understanding.
Ask yourself: What do I need to learn from this? What can I accept about myself in this moment?
If you're feeling ready, you can even write a letter to yourself or the part of yourself that was triggered, offering compassion and understanding.

The Logical Song

Song by Supertramp ‧ 1979
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees,
well they'd be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, playfully watching me
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible, practical
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical
There are times when all the world's asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am
I said, watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical
Liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable
Respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable
Oh, take it take it yeah
But at night, when all the world's asleep
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man
Won't you please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am
'Cause I was feeling so logical
D-d-digital
One, two, three, five
Oh, oh, oh, oh
It's getting unbelievable
The Logical Song
Song by Supertramp ‧ 1979

American Educational System

A New Way That Works For Everyone

New Happy
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              • Focus on your senses:
                5-4-3-2-1 Method:
              • Name 5 things you can see,
              • 4 things you can touch,
              • 3 things you can hear,
              • 2 things you can smell,
              • 1 thing you can taste.
            • Describe your surroundings: Pay attention to the details of your environment, noticing colors, textures, sounds, and smells.
            • Focus on an object: Choose an object and describe its color, shape, texture, and how it feels in your hands.
          • Smell something familiar: Inhale a scent that evokes a positive memory or feeling.Breathing exercises:
          • Deep breathing: Inhale slowly and deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly. 
          • Box breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds.
          • Pursed lip breathing: Inhale through your nose and exhale slowly through pursed lips.
            Movement and touch:
             
          • Go for a walk: Engage in a physical activity like walking, which can help you reconnect with your body and surroundings.
          • Touch something comforting: Hold a smooth stone, pet a furry animal, or hug a loved one.
          • Put your hands under cold water: Focus on the sensation of the cold water on your skin.
  • Secure Attachment:
    Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, trusting both themselves and others.  They can express their needs and feelings openly, and feel comfortable with closeness and being on their own. 
  • Anxious Attachment:
    Individuals with an anxious attachment style often worry about abandonment and seek reassurance from their partners, feeling insecure in relationships. They may be overly concerned with their partner's actions and moods, and may have difficulty trusting others. 
  • Avoidant Attachment:
    Individuals with an avoidant attachment style value independence and autonomy, often maintaining emotional distance and avoiding intimacy. They may prefer to handle things on their own and avoid discussing deep feelings.  
  • Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant Attachment:
    Individuals with a disorganized attachment style have experienced trauma or instability in their early lives, leading to mixed behaviors in their relationships, sometimes seeking closeness and sometimes pulling away.  They may struggle to trust others and themselves.